Midnight Manor Private Residence, Wednesday Evening

[pocketpretzels]

Sometimes, date night was an elaborate affair involving getting dressed up and going out to the symphony, or the theatre, or the like.

And sometimes, date night was an evening at home, curled up on the couch with takeout pasta and a documentary about penguins playing on the television.

Tonight was definitely the latter.

[ooc: for the husband and NFB please!]

Comments

[hasaknightjob]

Steven was sort of watching the documentary, but mainly he was curled up on his side with his head resting against Llewellyn's lap. He looked thoughtful but didn't say anything.

[pocketpretzels]

Which was precisely why Watts had chosen it rather than something that required them to follow a plot: adorable baby penguins doing adorable baby penguin things featured heavily, and the narrator's voice was one of those soothing types.

Watts himself was half focused on the documentary, half focused on running his fingers through Steven's hair.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven's eyes drifted half closed as, much like the narrator, Llewellyn's touch was very soothing.

Steven started to say something, stopped, and let out a breath instead.

[pocketpretzels]

"Hmmm?" Watts made an inquiring noise.

[hasaknightjob]

"Do you think it's my fault?" Steven asked.

[pocketpretzels]

"That Marc ended his- arrangement- with Dr. Quinn?" Watts checked. There really wasn't any other 'it' he could think of at the moment, but it didn't hurt to be sure.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven had offered no context or segue whatsoever so it was both impressive and a sign of how well Llewellyn knew him that he'd been able to guess.

"Yeah," Steven said. "Maybe - maybe I shouldn't have told him what I thought?"

[pocketpretzels]

Watts supposed Steven could have meant the fact that they were out of oat milk, but he didn't think that would have weighed on Steven quite so heavily, even if he had been the one to finish the carton off.

"I don't think hiding things from Marc would've been the better solution, no," Watts told him.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven sighed. "I hate not trying. She's so hurt. I wish we could help her."

[pocketpretzels]

"Sometimes people are just not ready or willing to accept help," Watts said. Which he knew Steven knew, but it was the sort of thing that bore repeating.

[hasaknightjob]

Which again showed how well Llewellyn knew his husband. Steven needed that repeated a lot.

Softer, but still loud enough for Llewellyn to hear him, Steven said, "I hate that Marc couldn't be the one to do it. He's so hard on himself already. I feel like I've told him some of his worst suspicions about himself were right."

[pocketpretzels]

"I know it isn't- remotely the same," Watts said. "But I've been- trying to remind him. Of how good a friend he has been to me. How much I trust him."

[hasaknightjob]

Steven looked up at him. "It helps. He needs to hear things like that. More people telling him he's not horrible. Not truly."

Steven settled against Llewellyn's lap again. "I think he'd be wonderful for someone some day. Not - there's work to be done. Not saying there isn't. But... someone - "

Steven sighed, not sure how to say it.

[pocketpretzels]

"He cares so deeply when he lets himself," Watts acknowledged.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven nodded. "His heart is so big. He's so much love to give. But he doesn't think he deserves it in return. I - I want someday for him to find someone who treats him - helps him see - "

Again Steven struggled with how to put it. Finally he went with, "I wish that one day he learns relationships are something that are allowed to make you feel happy and safe. That they aren't something you have to take the pain for."

[pocketpretzels]

"Ought to be a partnership," Watts agreed. "Your troubles are my own, yes, and I will always help you shoulder that burden as best I can. But your joys are mine as well, including the joy we find in each other."

[hasaknightjob]

"He was happy," Steven said. "Enjoying himself, at least. I think it was good for him? For what it was? But... as you say, burdens shared. Marc takes so much on his own already. I'd like for him to one day have someone he feels - trusts - he can share with."

[pocketpretzels]

"There's also the possibility," Watts floated gently, "That romance is- not for everyone. He deserves happiness, this I agree with, but- it may not come in the form of a romantic partner, necessarily," he pointed out.

[hasaknightjob]

"I know," Steven said. He rubbed his cheek against Llewellyn's leg in silent gratitude that for him a romantic partner had both been desired and found. "I just want him to feel loved. Not surprising coming from me, I suppose."

[pocketpretzels]

"Not in the least," Watts agreed. "He has you and I," he reminded Steven. "That- may need to suffice, for the time being."

[hasaknightjob]

"He's a good person," Steven said. He knew Llewellyn knew that, but Steven needed to say it all the same. "Deep down. He's worthy of love."

[pocketpretzels]

"Not even all that deep down," Watts countered. "The only one whose presence makes me feel safer is you."

[hasaknightjob]

Steven couldn't help but smile. "Likewise, you know. You're the only one who makes me feel safer than him."

[pocketpretzels]

"I think- he makes our residents feel safe as well," Watts pointed out. "A certain subset of them, at least." You know, the ones who also felt like they were just a little out of step with everyone else, in need of some place to belong.

[hasaknightjob]

"Do you know I actually like that some of them like him more than me?" Steven said. "They appreciate him."